Finding and keeping a great relationship can be very challenging in today’s social media world. There are so many dating sites and apps out there from tender to ‘eharmony’ to match.com to plenty of fish to blackpeoplemeet.com, and now ‘Christiansmingle’ has gotten in on the action. With so many dating sites, not only is it as confusing as solving one of those brain teasing puzzles, but it can be a very expensive venture trying to find that One-true-love-needle in that haystack.
With all of these sites offering the promise of happy matrimony, deciding exactly which .com may be housing the love of your life can be as risky as gambling at the roulette table in Vegas. Although those happy endings are simply promised, I have to tell you that in all actuality unlocking happiness in a relationship is not simple at all. It is far more difficult than the click-and-view one-two-steps advertised on these sites and in their television ads.
For starts, many of the profile personalities that you are viewing on these love-finding sites are less than completely forthcoming.
Those beautiful and handsome profile pictures; many of them are outdated, edited with airbrushing technology, and even depicts a person who is NOT the person being profiled. We have all heard of being “catfished”.
And then there are the interests that these profiles are listing. They tell the world of hopefuls that they are athletic in every way, enjoys peaceful walks or reading novels aloud to their lovers, gives a great massage, have hiked to the top of Mount Everest, and have swam the English Channel twice. Oh, and let’s not forget their jobs. All of a sudden the guy who empties the garbage in a hospital forgets the part of his job description of janitor (there is nothing wrong with being a janitor) and for some strange reason it becomes being a hospital administrator, a nurse, or maybe even a doctor. After all, he does share the same hospital cafeteria with them at lunch break; so maybe that counts.
With that, my advice to you is to try a different approach when looking for love in cyber space. Don’t stop at the well known dating sites. You should also check those profiles out on other social media sites as well. If the guy or girl that you are looking at on those dating sites looks like a superstar, then she or he should look like that same superstar in their casual posts of their daily lives. Ask them if you can connect with them on other sites like Facebook and Linkedin.
Because with the prominence of the picture sharing blogs like instagram, pinterest, and tumblr some of us believe that because of the many casual postings of the believable “so-called” self-images that people are posting on these blogs, we actually stand a better chance at finding a real image of a real person who we want to connect with and share real love. In some instances that is very true.
Mentioning tumblr if you have not seen the very popular heart warming post of christina love then you are missing out on what I and many others consider to be a true love story.
Now I have to admit that at first glance I thought it was a brilliant advertisement for the blog, however, after surveying friends and bloggers, the consensus was that it is a real love story and not just a clever advertisement for tumblr.
My message to you is to first remember to be careful with you heart. Be careful in your decision making when it comes to meeting virtual strangers who promise their whole hearts in exchange for yours.
Secondly, my tip is for in-person meetings with these potential lovers. Meet them on common grounds, like at a restaurant, a mall, or if you have the money -on vacation somewhere away from your actual hometown. Be sure to book separate rooms, have enough financial resources to take care of your travel back home to safety, and to learn body language communication so that you can read even the best con artist. Last but not least, protect not only your heart, but protect your life as well by practicing safe sex with this new lover in your life.
Visit me at facebook.com/writerangelicartiaga for (anonymous) relationship questions anytime you feel the need, and I will post answers here each Wednesday underneath Wednesday’s column. No question is too personal or too risqué. Believe me, I have heard and answered them all. Drop a comment, give me your own personal advice, and give all of us something to think about. Until the next topic… Let’s chat!