Although bullies are typically children, and while A Bully For Love may behave like children they are not as young as children and are usually much taller than children. The sad truth is that hey are not actual children at all.
The only clear resemblance between them and children is their behavior. Just like a child bully, an adult bully is someone who is filled with insecurities that they blame solely on you. The root of this evil is spun from bully’s life history which is usually some old issue that the bully strategically hid behind their smiles when you two first met.
We all know that both males and females can be bullies. With that being said, you must understand that I am not some feminist preaching women’s liberationist or anything like that. In this article however, I am going to address the male bully.
When most people think about a bully, the images that comes to mind belongs to some red haired, chubby kid in a stripped T-Shirt and tight jeans. They never imagine the bully looking anything like the person who they are in a relationship with.
The sad truth of it all is that that bullies come in all shapes and sizes with different facial features and an array of eye colors and smiles. Bullying does not live on the exterior of a person but is homed on the inside of them.
Think about it. The bully that you have fallen in love with probably doesn’t look like your imaginations school yard bully right. So that must mean that I am on to something.
Although the most manipulative bully is capable of taking off his bullying ways as easily as exchanging a jacket for a sports coat. Don’t be fooled by the nice guy image adorning his outer shell because the interior bully is still there underneath all of that handsome charm and will come flying out at any given moment.
Here are some clear signs that will let you know that you have an adult bully on your hands.
Like child bullies, adult bullies are selective in who they are willing to bully. They always select a person that they are willing to pretend to be bigger or better than. He will not attack those who he does not believe will go for his crap or that he cannot beat up on. When it comes to being confrontational, he would much rather bite off his tongue and swallow it before using it to insult or yell at a person whom he feels inferior. He will maintain self control and show that person respect, and in turn will save all of his bloody spit for you.
He will usually wait until he gets you alone at home, in the car, or maybe even just out of earshot of those who he wants to convince that he is in fact a real man, a masculine man, a man who is too big of a man to act like a silly boy when it comes to dealing with you, his woman.
Does he scream and yell over you or cut you off when you are attempting to have a calm adult conversation with him? If your answer is yes, then here is why.
When it comes to bullies or- Chihuahuas as I have nicknamed them- their bark is an intimidation tool. It’s a protection mechanism that they use when safeguarding or not addressing what stems from their insecurities. Because your conversation with him is on the road to an address located at the intersection of “His-Shortcomings Lane and Your-Unhappiness-With-Him Avenue”, like a child strapped into a car seat wanting to ride around town all day long, the moment he notices you approaching that destination, he starts squirming in his seat which then leads to kicking and screaming and ultimately his big temper tantrum and finger pointing that he uses as a his scapegoat.
Will he belittle and embarrass you in front of the children but not in the presence of other adults and especially other men? If your answer is yes, the reason for this is because he wants to look good in front of other men and will save the feminine eye-rolling, screaming, and bitchy attitude for later. He knows that another adult and especially another man will do what you won’t or have not found the courage to do: Show him what a real man looks like and will do it in front of you. He watches his temper and tone in the presence of other men because the potential embarrassment that would be inflicted upon him in your presence is totally unacceptable to him.
We all know that the way he or anybody treats you is your own responsibility. People will only treat you the way you allow them to treat you. And I hate to tell you this, but guess what; it’s your responsibility to make him stop mistreating you. Because talking to you like you deserve little to no respect is what you have taught him to believe is okay to do, and because you have let him get away with it for so long, you must do something about it and do it now. If you have never introduced this man to your self-respect, how will he ever get to know her? By keeping her hidden away from him, you are enabling his refusal to face facts about the way he treats you. But let’s say that you have made that introduction, and he treats you badly anyway, where did that part of you escape to? It is definitely time for him and her to become reacquainted.
Chew on this:
Did you know that the widely spread theory that http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/domestic-violence-super-bowl-sunday-0203137 domestic violence is at its peak on Superbowl Sunday is a big fat urban legend? Well, it is. Although it is not a fact, it is truly sad that this myth has held its posture of being true for so very long. What’s even sadder is that it is believable that a man can get so angry and go berserk over a game being played on television by professional athletes who has no clue that he even exists. Now, here is the cherry on top. The thought of a man finding great reasoning to misbehave and act like a little boy over those games- that he is not even being paid to play or to watch, for that matter – being not so farfetched is even more pitiful.
Did you know that law enforcement officers have a very high rate of domestic violence against their spouses and family members? That despite the uniform and their famous slogan, “To Serve and To Protect”, these macho men forget all about that when they get home and interact with their spouses and family members “their in-home targets”? Well it is very true. Statistics show that at least 40% of http://womenandpolicing.com/violenceFS.asp Police officer families experience domestic violence at the hands of our paid “peace” officers. The worse part of it all is that because they are in the boys in blue club, they tend to get away with it. (A prime example of people mistreating other people just because they can)
Did you know that Surveys says that the average insecure man or woman is afraid to stand corrected? Reason being doesn’t want you to know that he is not the “Wizard of ALL” or the know-it-all that he wants you to think that he is. That surveys report that most men will drive around lost for nearly 45 minutes before stopping to ask for directions.
Bottom line: Are you sleeping with someone who is man or woman enough to be sleeping with you?
Drop a comment, give me your own personal advice, and give all of us something to think about. Until the next topic… Let’s chat!