Is She Cheating?

Millions of men have this very question lingering in the front of his mind. Many more have allowed this question to springboard from the tips of their tongues.

I have had this conversation with lots of men after hearing just a few details about his behavior, and I would like to share the gist of how these conversations usually unfold.

Q: Is she cheating on me?

A: Of course she is.

  1. How can you be so sure?

A: Because listening to you, I can see that you have one, some, or all of the following symptoms:

  1. You’ve cheated on her
  2. Your’re Insecure
  3. Your’re a bully
  4. You are too controlling
  5. You have feminine behavior
  6. You have poor hygiene
  7. What should I do?
  8. There is only two things that I recommend.
  9. What are they?
  10. Change or Congratulate.
  11. I understand changing, but what exactly do you mean by congratulate?
  12. Congratulate your woman and her new man.


By the time a man is questioning his woman’s fidelity, he already knows the answers surrounding this question. Not only does he know that the answer is yes, he knows the reasons that it’s yes. He is simply asking because he wants and needs to talk about it or is in denial and is seeking more confirmation.

If she were not cheating on him, he would be pretty sure that she was not. The reason I say pretty sure is because there is no real way to know if she is. If you are asking this question, the reason you are asking is because you know that you have probably given her reason(s) to cheat on you.

Take a look at the symptoms that I have listed, and if you fit into any of these categories, then I would definitely say that the answer is undoubtedly yes or soon will be yes. If any of these six things is something that you did not exhibit or a secret kept at the start of your relationship but is now speaking loud and clear, then the answer is absolutely yes.

If you love your woman and want to keep her to yourself I suggest that you take my last two answers seriously.

I know that nobody is perfect and we all need a little help at times. If you have any question on how to achieve a faithful relationship with your woman that will feel great and be great, ask (make ask a link) the one bias woman who knows the right answers or take it a step further and help yourself even more by grabbing my Why She Cheats and How She Get’s Away With It. I would like to know your thoughts on why women cheat. Drop a comment, give me your own personal advice, and give all of us something to think about. Until the next topic… Let’s chat!

Are You a Bully For Love?

Although bullies are typically children, and while A Bully For Love may behave like children they are not as young as children and are usually much taller than children. The sad truth is that hey are not actual children at all.


The only clear resemblance between them and children is their behavior.  Just like a child bully, an adult bully is someone who is filled with insecurities that they blame solely on you. The root of this evil is spun from bully’s life history which is usually some old issue that the bully strategically hid behind their smiles when you two first met.


We all know that both males and females can be bullies. With that being said, you must understand that I am not some feminist preaching women’s liberationist or anything like that. In this article however, I am going to address the male bully.


When most people think about a bully, the images that comes to mind belongs to some red haired, chubby kid in a stripped T-Shirt and tight jeans. They never imagine the bully looking anything like the person who they are in a relationship with.

The sad truth of it all is that that bullies come in all shapes and sizes with different facial features and an array of eye colors and smiles. Bullying does not live on the exterior of a person but is homed on the inside of them.

Think about it. The bully that you have fallen in love with probably doesn’t look like your imaginations school yard bully right. So that must mean that I am on to something.

Although the most manipulative bully is capable of taking off his bullying ways as easily as exchanging a jacket for a sports coat. Don’t be fooled by the nice guy image adorning his outer shell because the interior bully is still there underneath all of that handsome charm and will come flying out at any given moment.

Here are some clear signs that will let you know that you have an adult bully on your hands.

Selective Bullying

Like child bullies, adult bullies are selective in who they are willing to bully. They always select a person that they are willing to pretend to be bigger or better than. He will not attack those who he does not believe will go for his crap or that he cannot beat up on. When it comes to being confrontational, he would much rather bite off his tongue and swallow it before using it to insult or yell at a person whom he feels inferior. He will maintain self control and show that person respect, and in turn will save all of his bloody spit for you.

Alone Time

He will usually wait until he gets you alone at home, in the car, or maybe even just out of earshot of those who he wants to convince that he is in fact a real man, a masculine man, a man who is too big of a man to act like a silly boy when it comes to dealing with you, his woman.

Soprano Vocals

Does he scream and yell over you or cut you off when you are attempting to have a calm adult conversation with him? If your answer is yes, then here is why.

When it comes to bullies or- Chihuahuas as I have nicknamed them- their bark is an intimidation tool.  It’s a protection mechanism that they use when safeguarding or not addressing what stems from their insecurities. Because your conversation with him is on the road to an address located at the intersection of “His-Shortcomings Lane and Your-Unhappiness-With-Him Avenue”, like a child strapped into a car seat wanting to ride around town all day long, the moment he notices you approaching that destination, he starts squirming in his seat which then leads to kicking and screaming and ultimately his big temper tantrum and finger pointing that he uses as a his scapegoat.

Embarrassing moments

Will he belittle and embarrass you in front of the children but not in the presence of other adults and especially other men? If your answer is yes, the reason for this is because he wants to look good in front of other men and will save the feminine eye-rolling, screaming, and bitchy attitude for later. He knows that another adult and especially another man will do what you won’t or have not found the courage to do: Show him what a real man looks like and will do it in front of you. He watches his temper and tone in the presence of other men because the potential embarrassment that would be inflicted upon him in your presence is totally unacceptable to him.

Self Check

We all know that the way he or anybody treats you is your own responsibility. People will only treat you the way you allow them to treat you.  And I hate to tell you this, but guess what; it’s your responsibility to make him stop mistreating you. Because talking to you like you deserve little to no respect is what you have taught him to believe is okay to do, and because you have let him get away with it for so long, you must do something about it and do it now.  If you have never introduced this man to your self-respect, how will he ever get to know her? By keeping her hidden away from him, you are enabling his refusal to face facts about the way he treats you. But let’s say that you have made that introduction, and he treats you badly anyway, where did that part of you escape to? It is definitely time for him and her to become reacquainted.

Chew on this:

Did you know that the widely spread theory that domestic violence is at its peak on Superbowl Sunday is a big fat urban legend? Well, it is.  Although it is not a fact, it is truly sad that this myth has held its posture of being true for so very long. What’s even sadder is that it is believable that a man can get so angry and go berserk over a game being played on television by professional athletes who has no clue that he even exists.  Now, here is the cherry on top. The thought of a man finding great reasoning to misbehave and act like a little boy over those games- that he is not even being paid to play or to watch, for that matter – being not so farfetched is even more pitiful.



Did you know that law enforcement officers have a very high rate of domestic violence against their spouses and family members? That despite the uniform and their famous slogan, “To Serve and To Protect”, these macho men forget all about that when they get home and interact with their spouses and family members “their in-home targets”? Well it is very true. Statistics show that at least 40% of Police officer families experience domestic violence at the hands of our paid “peace” officers. The worse part of it all is that because they are in the boys in blue club, they tend to get away with it. (A prime example of people mistreating other people just because they can)


Did you know that Surveys says that the average insecure man or woman is afraid to stand corrected? Reason being  doesn’t want you to know that he is not the “Wizard of ALL” or the know-it-all that he wants you to think that he is. That surveys report that most men will drive around lost for nearly 45 minutes before stopping to ask for directions.


Bottom line:  Are you sleeping with someone who is man or woman enough to be sleeping with you?

Drop a comment, give me your own personal advice, and give all of us something to think about. Until the next topic… Let’s chat!


Add Spark to Your Relationship!

Women have often asked me that famous question, “How can I add spark to my relationship?” and my answer is always a pretty simple; Try.


Unfortunately, that one word usually doesn’t go over very well with some people.


Seeing how dull relationships were an epidemic, I became really vested in the art of helping people add spark to their relationships.


About five years ago I started doing Naughty Girl parties. At these parties there were so many women who desperately wanted more excitement in their bedrooms. These women ranged in age from 18 to 70 years old. That’s right I said 70! I would often encounter three generations of women, the three of them sitting side by side on the sofa at these parties.


There would be a mother/grandmother around age 60-70, and her daughter age 35-40, and then her daughter (the granddaughter) age 18-21. Three generations of women in search of the same thing. New and exciting sexy tricks to take home in their little black party bags. I know that a lot of you are surprised to find that there are women as old as 70 years old sitting next to their daughters and granddaughters but believe me, they are. In fact, whenever I would call for a volunteer to come to the center of the room and help me to show the ladies how certain items could bring lots of spark into their bedrooms, the first hands to reach for the ceiling would belong to a dear old granny.


One of my favorite items that I would often show off to the ladies is an item that comes with a remote control. It would always be a real scream when the women would eventually realize what was happening right before their very eyes, and in turn was super huge hit when it came to boosting relationship moral.


Here a few tips for reigniting the flame in your bedroom:


  1. Go to a naughty girl party and join in on the fun
  2. Give your man a new girlfriend. A blonde, red, or even a blue wig with a new and fun attitude for the night will work wonders.
  3. Remind him of what he does for you, “You make me happy.” “You make my life so much better” or greet him with a “Hello handsome!” Those few words means so much to a man.


I would like to know your thoughts on great relationship boosters. Drop a comment, give me your own personal advice, and give all of us something to think about. Until the next topic… Let’s chat!M

Dating Sites and True Love

Finding and keeping a great relationship can be very challenging in today’s social media world. There are so many dating sites and apps out there from tender to ‘eharmony’ to to plenty of fish to, and now ‘Christiansmingle’ has gotten in on the action. With so many dating sites, not only is it as confusing as solving one of those brain teasing puzzles, but it can be a very expensive venture trying to find that One-true-love-needle in that haystack.

With all of these sites offering the promise of happy matrimony, deciding exactly which .com may be housing the love of your life can be as risky as gambling at the roulette table in Vegas. Although those happy endings are simply promised, I have to tell you that in all actuality unlocking happiness in a relationship is not simple at all. It is far more difficult than the click-and-view one-two-steps advertised on these sites and in their television ads.

For starts, many of the profile personalities that you are viewing on these love-finding sites are less than completely forthcoming.

Those beautiful and handsome profile pictures; many of them are outdated, edited with airbrushing technology, and even depicts a person who is NOT the person being profiled. We have all heard of being “catfished”.

And then there are the interests that these profiles are listing. They tell the world of hopefuls that they are athletic in every way, enjoys peaceful walks or reading novels aloud to their lovers, gives a great massage, have hiked to the top of Mount Everest, and have swam the English Channel twice. Oh, and let’s not forget their jobs. All of a sudden the guy who empties the garbage in a hospital forgets the part of his job description of janitor (there is nothing wrong with being a janitor) and for some strange reason it becomes being a hospital administrator, a nurse, or maybe even a doctor. After all, he does share the same hospital cafeteria with them at lunch break; so maybe that counts.

With that, my advice to you is to try a different approach when looking for love in cyber space. Don’t stop at the well known dating sites. You should also check those profiles out on other social media sites as well. If the guy or girl that you are looking at on those dating sites looks like a superstar, then she or he should look like that same superstar in their casual posts of their daily lives. Ask them if you can connect with them on other sites like Facebook and Linkedin.

Because with the prominence of the picture sharing blogs like instagram, pinterest, and tumblr some of us believe that because of the many casual postings of the believable “so-called” self-images that people are posting on these blogs, we actually stand a better chance at finding a real image of a real person who we want to connect with and share real love. In some instances that is very true.

Mentioning tumblr if you have not seen the very popular heart warming post of christina love then you are missing out on what I and many others consider to be a true love story.

Now I have to admit that at first glance I thought it was a brilliant advertisement for the blog, however, after surveying friends and bloggers, the consensus was that it is a real love story and not just a clever advertisement for tumblr.

My message to you is to first remember to be careful with you heart. Be careful in your decision making when it comes to meeting virtual strangers who promise their whole hearts in exchange for yours.

Secondly, my tip is for in-person meetings with these potential lovers. Meet them on common grounds, like at a restaurant, a mall, or if you have the money -on vacation somewhere away from your actual hometown. Be sure to book separate rooms, have enough financial resources to take care of your travel back home to safety, and to learn body language communication so that you can read even the best con artist. Last but not least, protect not only your heart, but protect your life as well by practicing safe sex with this new lover in your life.

Visit me at for (anonymous) relationship questions anytime you feel the need, and I will post answers here each Wednesday underneath Wednesday’s column. No question is too personal or too risqué. Believe me, I have heard and answered them all. Drop a comment, give me your own personal advice, and give all of us something to think about. Until the next topic… Let’s chat!